My Morning

Ever have so much going through your head at once that you cant even focus on one particular thing? Thats what happened to me this morning. It came with the lack of motivation, inability to think about the day ahead, and the sudden mood swings. I didnt want to get out of bed, didnt feel like getting dressed and most definitely didnt want to go to school. I was short-tempered and every little thing that went wrong frustrated me. I had so many thoughts going through my head that i became really anxious. I usually can handle it but i think it was just a build up of everything that sometimes i break. As a result, on my way to school, i had to pull over and throw up. I know, disgusting, im sorry. I was feeling so low and so stressed and so anxious that i got sick. Its happened before but this time it came so fast. Luckily i brought my lunch so i was able to use the bag. I didnt make it that far from my house so i turned around and headed home. My mom knew it was anxiety so she let me go back to sleep, hoping it would clear my mind. It did and after missing my first 3 hours of school, i was able to make it for painting. I'm still feeling anxious today but definitely not as bad as this morning.

I hope that wasnt too much. I'm not going to explain what was going through my head, thats what my journals for but i did want to write about my morning.

On a good note, my parents are going out of town this weekend. they leave thursday morning. its going to be so nice to have space and do my own thing. I planned a ton so i can stay busy and not do someting stupid to break their trust. Hopefully it'll work!

KHO